toriapoptosis | Entries tagged with self care chronicles

Begin to Discover Your Intuitive Creativity (July 2020)

Creativity is essential in our healing and is often a practice that is overlooked. Creating allows us to be seen and authentically expressed. When we create, we are taking what's inside of us and sharing it out into the world. We are moving our expression from the potential to the actual. We are allowing ourselves to be seen and heard. Intuitive creativity is creation expressed through inner awareness - our inner connection to self - that is heart centered and does not rely on analysis or ego based questions. It flows. It is the deepest parts of ourselves being given the space to surface. The deepest parts of ourselves that are often not seen or heard by the world, and in many cases, and most importantly, not seen or heard by even ourselves. When we share intuitive creations - creations birthed from our heart center, our inner and highest self - parts of us that were once invisible, hidden and abandoned, become known.

Beginning the work: You can cultivate creativity by challenging yourself to create every day, in whatever way speaks to you. Spend time this month adding this practice into your daily/weekly routine. Cultivating creativity is an active practice.

If a creative practice is something you already have, try a new medium or area of focus. Push past your first ideas, as we often focus on concepts we already know. Give yourself freedom to go in different directions. Maybe you're a writer and will now try sketching or painting. Maybe you'll add dancing into your physical activity or spend time taking photos that inspire you. Have fun with this! Play is vital here.

Remember, as most things in our healing, whatever area of creation you choose, it's the consistent practice here that allows us to bring forth the deepest parts of our authentic selves and cultivate more creation.

Possible creative practices to choose from:

- free writing
- writing poetry
- sketching or drawing
- painting
- singing
- dancing
- photography
- creating music
- creating content/videos
- collage making
- practice acting or improv
- play a new instrument
- make a vision board
- woodworking or building
- picking and rearranging flowers

Begin to Reconnect with Your Personal Essence (August 2020)

When we speak of reconnecting with your personal essence, we are speaking of reconneccting with your innermost nature, your true and authentic self. This is the being that you are when everything else is taken away: thought, feeling, body, emotion. Your essence is not your personality. It is the whole, perfect, and complete being that you are. The being that is here taking residence inside your human body. We are not our thoughts, feelings, body, or emotions. We are simply the observer: spiritual beings having a human experience, not human beings having a spiritual experience.

To be conneccted to and embodying of your unique essence, you must be conscious and present to the whole, perfect, and complete being that you already are. Our senses provide a great way for you to connect with your body and your present moment. Practice using your senses to get out of your thinking mind, and in to your feeling body.

Create a daily practice of reconnecting with your consciousness using your feeling body and its five senses. To begin, take five slow breaths together and ask yourself:

- What are three things you can hear?
- What are three things you can see?
- What are three things you can smell?
- What are three things you can touch?
- What are three things you can taste?

Set a timer on your phone for a random time - when it goes off, note where your attention is and practice this exercise.

Building a baseline of self-love allows you (and is necessary) to connect deeper with your pure divine essence.

Self-love is the act of being present and attentive with yourself no matter what, and being radically honest with how you're feeling in every breath. It is unconditional. It does not mean you have to like who you are being, how you're acting or what you're doing in every single moment. Self-love is the practice of: acceptance, respect, awareness, knowledge, and trust. It is something you do, feel, cultivate, nurture, and experience. It requires action, implementation, and integration. It is a practice.

The aspects of ourselves that we don't like, are ashamed of, or wish to ignore, are often the child within us crying out for comfort. Developing a loving parental relationship with our inner child allows us to build a strong baseline of self-love. As most things in our healing, this takes time and consistent practice. You will have ups and downs. Be kind, gentle, and forgiving with yourself as you do the work.

Use the suggestions below to begin building a strong baseline for each aspect of self-love. Do this work in front of a mirror if you're able. Spend time with yourself and your reflection.

Acceptance: write a letter of forgiveness to yourself, be gentle and change your self-talk to that of your loving and wise inner parent

Awareness: deep breathing (inhale six seconds, hold for three, exhale for six), practice meditation, sitting still with closed eyes and turning your skill of observing others inward to observe yourself

Trust: listen to your physical body (it's always sending you signals). Try naming how you feel in the present. Create a small daily promise, stop trying to control everything: allow others to have their own experience

Respect: practice setting healthy boundaries, prioritize you: create time for you and your healing practices, reflection journal prompts: "where am I putting myself last? What am I tolerating that I don't want to be?"

Knowledge: journal/list your top core values (i.e. honesty, loyalty, passion, etc.), remind yourself: "in any moment I can change," and give yourself permission to do so, reflection journal prompts: "what excites me? Who am I? What is my truth? How do I show up in my life personally and professionally?"

Begin to Discover Your Inner Child (April 2020)

Inner Child 101 - The child within us whose unresolved emotional experiences create subconscious behavior. We were all once children, and still have that child dwelling within us, though most adults are quite unaware of this. This lack of conscious relatedness to our own inner child is precisely where so many behavioral, emotional, and relationship difficulties stem from. Quite literally, your inner child is the child that lives within you.

Wounded inner child may look like:

- blaming/name calling
- comparison to others
- scarcity (i.e., "I am not enough"/"there is not enough")
- acts in defensive manner
- shutdown (silent treatment)
- black and white thinking (i.e., absolutes of "right" and "wrong")
- chronic self-betrayal
- lack of boundaries
- feeling unsafe

Nurtured inner child may look like:

- play
- freedom (i.e., unscheduled time that you can devote to whatever activity feels best for you in the moment)
- being seen and heard
- observing self without judgement
- creating (i.e., painting/writing/drawing, etc.)
- resting when needed
- disciplined self-care
- honoring boundaries

To begin to heal the inner child, practice observing it - both the wounded and nurtured child - and acknowledge its presence (i.e., tell you inner child "I see you"). Then practice accepting it without trying to judge or change it (i.e., telling your inner child "it's okay you are here and feeling hurt").

Journal daily for at least two weeks to note observations surrounding the presence of your inner child. Take note of situations related to inner child reactions, the thoughts that follow/have been ingrained, how it makes you physically feel in your body, and what your actual reaction to the situation was.

Next step is to cultivate a wise inner parent. Following an event, identify your inner child belief, and then counter it with a new, wise inner parent - the parent you wish you had to teach you back then. Example: food spills/something breaks. Inner child might say: "I can't do anything right." Wise inner parent rebuttal: "Things do not always go as planned and what's most important is how we respond."

Begin to Reparent Your Inner Child (May 2020)

Reparenting 101 - Reparenting is the process of relearning how to meet the needs of your inner child. It's acting as your own best parent through daily self-care and observation, developing a practice of giving ourselves what we didn't receive in childhood.

We each learn how to get/meet our core physical and emotional needs through our earliest experiences with our caregivers. When a caregiver did not have their own physical and emotional needs met in their childhood, it often does not allow for them to fully meet the needs of their own children (or those they look after), as they themselves were not modeled such behavior in childhood.

As adults, it becomes our responsibility to teach ourselves the tools, meet our own needs and raise ourselves in the ways that were not met as children. This month we will begin to discover how to reparent the inner child within each of us, regardless of how we were parented as children.

How do I know if I need reparenting? (Almost wanted to skip because .... duh, but I'll keep anyway.) You'll know you need reparenting if you:

- have a habit of self-betrayal or not keeping your word to yourself
- have low self worth
- have dysfunctional relationship dynamics
- hold a chronic fear of criticism
- have issues setting and holding boundaries
- have a lack of understanding of your own needs, wants, desires and passions

Four main pillars of reparenting are identified as: loving discipline, self-care, joy, and emotional regulation. After reviewing each pillar, ask which one you need to work on most. A great way to begin this exploration is to tune in and ask yourself: "What am I needing most right now?"

Loving discipline
As children, many of us were not taught simple, helpful, healthy habits and rituals. As adults, we can begin to cultivate this loving discipline by: keeping small promises to ourselves, developing daily rituals/routine, saying no to things that do not serve us, holding boundaries even when we are uncomfortable, disconnecting and spending time in self-reflection, clearly stating our needs in objective (non-judgmental) language.

Self-care
As children, many of us were not taught the value of things like sleep, movement, nutrition, and connection to nature. As adults, we can cultivate this self-care by: going to bed a bit earlier, cooking/eating a home cooked meal, meditating for 5 minutes (or longer), moving our body for 5 minutes (or longer), journaling, spending time in and connecting to nature, allowing the sun to touch our skin, connecting with someone we love.

Joy
As children, many of us were not taught the value of joy in spontaneity, creativity, play, and pure presence. As adults, it's crucial to remember to PLAY, to connect and find hobbies we enjoy. We can cultivate this joy by: dancing or singing freely, doing somethinig unplanned, finding a new hobby or interest, listening to our favorite music, complimenting a stranger, doing something we absolutely loved as as child, connecting with friends and loved ones.

Emotional Regulation
As children, many of us were not taught the value or practice of having emotional awareness. As adults, it's crucial to our healing that we develop this practice. We can begin cultivating emotional regulation by: practicing deep belly breathing, observing how emotions feel in our body, noticing what causes us to be triggered, allowing emotional responses without judgment; allowing any and all emotions to pass through you while simply observing.

In each area, ask: "what do I need in this area? What can I give myself right now in this area?"

Begin to Regulate Your Nervous System (June 2020)

Two branches of nervous system: sympathetic & parasympathetic.

Sympathetic: creates the "fight" or "flight" responses to danger, increase in heart rate, increase in blood flow to brain and all organs, increase in hormones to provide quick burst of energy to leave situation.

Parasympathetic: conserves energy, slows heart rate, restores body to balance after a stressful experience, controls digestion and metabolism.

Nervous System Dysregulation is a term to describe symptoms that come from repeated activation or extended periods of stress on the nervous system. Ideally, when we face stress, our nervous system responds and then returns to a baseline state of balance. If our nervous system cannot regulate, we cannot recover from stress and we may face the following symptoms:

Possible Psychological and Emotional Symptoms - activation: shame, guilt, mood swings, fear, panic, aggression, anxiety, rage, terror, confusion, self blame, overwhelm; shutdown: inability to connect to people, feeling disconnected, "spacey" and numb, inability to think clearly, fear of speaking up or being seen

Possible Physical Symptoms - insomnia, nightmares, being startled easily, fear of loud sounds, trembling, shaking, racing heart, migraines, digestion issues, autoimmune disorders, teeth grinding, muscle tensions or aches, exhaustion, chronic fatigue

Possible Social Symptoms - attachment symptoms: a push/pull dynamic in relationships, avoidant relationship patterns, becoming overly clingly or fearful of losing relationships; emotional symptoms: having no boundaries or overly rigid "absolute" boundaries without flexibility, social anxiety, irritability, withdrawing

Having awareness of your nervous system is an important part of any healing journey. Using these tools daily in small amounts allows us to re-wire our nervous system, giving us the space to engage with ourselves, others, and the world in new ways.

Challenge: Choose one (or more) of these practices to focus on each day. Keep a journal of your practices and note how your body feels and responds. Remember, small consistent practice is key.

- Practice Deep Belly Breathing: hold your hand on your lower belly and breathe in deeply. Hold the breath in for a count of three seconds. Exhale for a count of three seconds. Feel the post-calm in your body. Repeat three times.

- Find Safety in the Present Moment: find a smell, a taste, or a visual in your environment. Practice actively focusing on the moment.

- Visualization Meditation: close your eyes and take a deep breath. Picture a white light coming from your heart. Repeat the words," I am safe and I am at peace," as you place your hands on your heart. Do this three times. Daily wake up or right before bed is a great time for this.

- Connection (co-regulation): co-regulation is the act of regulating your nervous system with another person. A great way to do this is through sharing and connecting with a person you love and trust. Extra points if there is laughter involved!

- Have Fun: playing your favorite sport, dancing, baking, singing, or anything that brings you joy for a few moments helps to bring the nervous system back to a rested and restored state.

- Be Conscious about Consumption: when we consume information, our nervous system consumes it too. Be mindful of how what you consume feels in the body. Are you feeling replenished and restored, or depleted and fearful? Disconnection is important.

- Find Nature and Observe It: find something in nature and just observe. Notice the colors. Sit under trees. Place your feet in the occean or in a pond. Let the wind grace your skin. Nature is a natural balancer of our nervous system and give us a "reset."

Current Music: Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood - episode 54

Define Self and Connections to Others (January 2020)

Goal: Understand, set, and begin to create boundaries.

What are boundaries? They are clear limits/lines that separate you (your thoughts/beliefs, needs, emotions, physical & energetic space) from others. They are necessary for a healthy relationship with yourself and others. They give clear and verbal communication on how others should interact with you regarding what is/is not okay/appropriate/acceptable.

Why boundaries? They help us be our authentic selves, free ourselves from resentment, regulate your emotions and nervous system, and create overall feelings of safety in your body, relationships, and world.

There are four types of boundaries:

1. Physical (body, contact)

Self: Awareness & execution of your own self care needs (nutrition, sleep, movement, etc.)
Ability to tune in to your energetic needs & exercise, disciplined choices regarding activity and rest

Others: Directly communicates preferences around physical space & contact and allows others to do the same
Ability to sit through uncomfortable feelings, allowing others to express their own energetic needs regarding activity & rest

2. Mental (thoughts, values, opinions, beliefs, etc.)

Self: Knowledge of, and connection to, your own internal world
Exerts choice regarding whether or not you share this world with others

Others: Ability to hold separate thoughts/beliefs from others (and tolerate others doing the same)
Allows others to choose whether their internal world is shared with you

3. Spiritual (your connection, or lack of connection, with something "higher" or deeper)

Self: Ability to define personal connection to spirituality/higher power

Others: Allows others to define their own personal connection to spirituality/higher power even when different than your own

4. Resources (emotions, energy, time, etc.)

Self: Awareness of, and ability to cope, with your own emotions
Ability to respectfully disengage from others when emotionally overwhelmed
Exerts choice as to where and how time is spent

Others: Ability to sit through uncomfortable feelings, allowing others to assume responsibility for coping
Allows others to disengage when emotionally overwhelmed
Allows others to exert choice as to where aand how time is spent

To keep a healthy boundary style (instead of rigid or loose), you will want to be aware of and value your own thoughts, opinions, and beliefs. Additionally, you will want to know how to communicate needs to others and appropriately share personal information, and consistently be able to say no when needed and accept others doing the same.

Identify any commonly crossed boundaries (create a list of violation and changes needed within each four areas). Then, work on communicating boundaries to others. A helpful prompt to do so: "I understand [insert your understanding of their behavior]. When you [insert the problematic behavior], I often feel [insert your feelings] and understand this is something you may not be aware of. In the future, [insert what you would/would not like to happen again]. If [insert original problematic behavior] happens again, I will [insert how you will begin to respond differently to meet your own need]. I am making these changes so that [insert your intention for your new boundary] and hope you can understand that this is important to me."

After a boundary is set, it must be maintained and held.

Begin to Connect with Your Body Through a Practice of Conscious Eating (February 2020)

grrrr... I had nearly finished this whole section when my finger slipped and my browser went back a page. Nothing saved. Boo!

View saved PDFs, because I'm not going to type this all again. Sigh.

Identify what exactly conscious eating is, tips on how to consciously eat. Differentiating between emotional hunger and physical hunger (important one for me!). Fill out conscious eating journal to identify feelings and thoughts before and then after eating each meal to better acquaint yourself with your own eating habits and relationships. For the month that conscious eating is prioritized, use the small daily habits practice to highlight this. Finally, review the top ten narratives surrounding food - note which narratives you are apt to fall prey to and adapt!

This is where I was when things got messed up, so I'll do a quick list of the top ten narratives without further explanations.

1. "Shoulds"/"musts"
2. All or nothing (black or white)
3. Overgeneralization
4. Catastrophizing
5. Rejecting the positive/filtering
6. Unfavorable comparison
7. Personalizing OR blaming
8. Emotional reasoning
9. Scarcity ("Last Supper Mentality")
10. Emotional hunger/fulfillment

Begin to Develop a Practice of Self-Observation (March 2020)

Figure out how your "habit self" varies with you "authenthic self." Habit selves are created out of necessity and conditioned when outside influences expect differing things from us that might not align with what we want/need. Can compare the two in the realms of physical, emotional/energetic, and spiritual/soul.

Physical habit selves often come from learned childhood habits surrounding how you care for your physical body (i.e., eating, sleeping, cleansing habits). The authentic self can connect to intuition and knows there is a possibility to have new lifestyle choices.

Emotional/energetic from the habit self - conditioned thoughts/beliefs, often inherited from childhood; the cycle of habitual feelings and reactions; habitual coping mechanisms. The authentic self instead offers - objective observer of thoughts/beliefs; awareness of possibility for change/new lifestyle choices; freedom from habitual feelings; flexibility with coping mechanisms.

Spiritual/soul habit selves - conditioned interests, etc often externally rewarded; practiced beliefs that no longer serve you (i.e., religion, family, holiday/cultural traditions). With the authentic self - recognize inner passions, longings, desires, etc.; new beliefs and practices that serve your chosen passions, interests, and overall well-being

Some journaling prompts to attack this dichotomy:

- What do I fear would happen if I showed up as my authentic self, expressed my wants, needs, desires, etc?
- How does it/will it feel if I don't show up as my authentic self?
- If I wasn't afraid of what would happen, how would I show up/what would I say, do, etc.?
- What do you love about yourself?

To begin this work, you must first meet your habit self. To do this, look closely at your daily routine and habits and journal to record any patterns.

Upon waking: observe and note the first thing you do upon waking. Note your first thought and feeling.

Morning routine: observe and note the typical steps you take to get yourself "ready" for a day. These may include washing, eating, dressing, and any other activities you would consider part of your transition from sleeping to your day.

Eating routine: observe and note typical steps you take to obtain and consume your meals. How do you obtain what you'll eat (cook at home, eat out *LOL*), where do you eat (sit at table, while commuting), do you have a particular approach to the actual act of eating (save one bite, eat everything on plate)?

Leisure time routine: observe and note how you spend time when you are not filling responsibilities such as work, home life, childcare, etc.

Nighttime routine: observe and note the typical steps you take to wind down and get yourself ready for sleep at night. These might include a bath, reading, watching TV, etc.

Stalk yourself for a week and write down the results! Then, turn to the belief inventory.

Think about and journal the following questions, then spend some time observing whether your daily actions match these habitual beliefs.

Religion: What are your predominate views on religion? What does your connection or non-connection to a higher power mean to you?

Relationships: What is the purpose of relationships for you? What are your roles in relationships?

Gender: What comes to mind when you think about gender and what it means to you? What roles do you take on due to your gender?

Feelings: What is your relationship to feelings in general? I.e., do you believe expressing them makes you weak? Are there certain feelings you feel are okay/not okay to express?

Money: What does money mean to you? What role does money play in your life?

Worldview: How do you experience the world overall? I.e., do you feel safe and able to trust the happenings of the world around you? Do you feel powerless?

Sex/Physical Expression: What comes to mind when you think about sex/physical expression? (lol, you can see an area in which Nicole is lacking...)

Values: What matters most to you in your life?

I commented on the website to mention that race is excluded. It really should NOT be excluded, but that is part of the white privilege... *sigh*

Additionally, take time to assess your emotional climate. Note which feelings you often experience. Set a timer throughout the day and check in. (See PDF for list of feelings.)

Then, the hard stuff! Switching over to our "authentic self."

Physical - do you know how your body feels? Connect to your senses. What lifestyle habits do you need to feel your best?

Energetic/emotional - do you know what you think/believe? When you think about issues/problems, are you more focused on what feels right to you, or more concerned with how the other person will perceive you? How are you feeling in a given moment? Use your senses to ground your attention to your body.

Spiritual/soul - do you know your own inner drives such as passion, purpose, desires? If you are unsure of what these may be for you, take some time to explore and try new things. Note what makes you feel good/bad, what you are interested in, what you like/dislike. Use senses again to figure out how you feel in response to each new thing you try. Be compassionate, and prepare yourself with knowing it might not feel natural/comfortable at first to try something new. Don't be afraid if you conjure up some negative feelings while confronting your old habits - that is normal and will subside once you break through.

Three Pillars of Self Healing (October 2019*)

Body

Nutrition
Nervous System Regulation
Movement
Sleep

Mind

Consciousness
Subconscious Re-programming
Reparenting
Ego work

Soul

Creativity/Play
Community/Connections
Purpose/Meaning
Nature

Awaken Consciousness (November 2019*)

Goal: Create a new habit of practicing consciousness daily.

Begin to build at least one conscious check-in daily. Separate "you" from your thoughts. Thoughts are not who you are. Practice being the conscious observer of your thoughts. Thoughts are neutral and do not determine what sort of person you are. Take back control by deciding where to direct your attention whenever it wonders or you find yourself focusing on something not worthwhile.

Become aware of the fact that you are thinking while in meditation. Allow that to become the new thought, then focus back on breathing. As the mind wanders, note the thinking that is happening and re-direct back to your breath.

Use your senses to ground yourself. Take five slow breaths and ask yourself: "what can I hear? what can I see? what can I smell? what am I touching? taste, maybe?"

Explore Deeper Causes of Symptoms (December 2019*)

Goal: Explore deeper narratives directing your habitual thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

Explore the deeper subconscious narratives keeping you stuck. Utilize a "narrative finder" to identify patterns. Look at the experience and ask, "what happened?" to identify triggers. Identify your thoughts to locate habitual thoughts. What are you feeling? What is going on inside your body? And finally, what was your reaction? This tells your common coping mechanisms.

There are quite a few core common narratives people tend to have.

1. Instability/Abandonment OR Fears Over Physical Well-Being - Do you often think you could lose support in your life from loved ones leaving or dying? Do you often think people you love will experience something tragic or even death?

2. Mistrust/Abuse in Relationships - Usually rooted in lack of emotional needs being met. Do you often think you are not getting needs met due to someone else's intentional or unintentional choices?

3. Defensiveness, Shame, Isolation - Usually feeling hypersensitive to perceived criticism, rejection, or blame. Do you often think you are unlovable or alone because of shameful aspects of yourself?

4. Suppression of Emotions OR Lack of Self-Control or Self-Discipline - Both negative and positive emotions could not be expressed freely. Do you struggle expressing anger or any negative emotion out of concern for how others will act? Do you often feel out of control? Do you often think you are unable to handle your emotions?

5. Undeveloped Sense of Self - Often had issues separating your thoughts/feelings/wants/needs from others'. Do you find yourself checking in with others before checking in with yourself? Do you consistently seek validation?

6. Incompetence OR Entitlement - Do you often feel like you are not good enough on your own to succeed? Do you often think you deserve to have rights to anything and everything you want at any cost?

7. Hypercriticalness - Themes of hypercriticalness about the behaviors of self/others. A belief that others should be punished for their mistakes and unmet expectations. Rigid narratives that do not allow for human imperfection or empathizing with others' feelings. Includes unrealistically high moral, ethical, cultural, and religious standards. Do you feel it difficult to accept yourself and others? Do you often feel as though you aren't accomplishing enough? Are you not able to relax and have downtime?

8. Self-Sacrifice - Themes of lack in terms of gratification in the context of relationships as a result of the tendency to put another's needs/emotions before one's own in order to prevent causing pain to others, to avoid guilt from feeling selfish, or to maintain the connection. May also include feelings of built up resentment with related passive-aggressive behaviors, temper outbursts, withdrawl behaviors, or psychosomatic symptoms. Do you often think you are selfish to consider your own needs in a relationship? Do you often opt to worry about and meet the needs of others before your own, even when they differ from your own?

9. Approval Seeking - Do you often obsessively think about what others think about you and only feel good about yourself when receiving positive feedback?

10. Negativity/Pessimism - Do you often think about all of the things that are/can go wrong, ignoring all of the things that can/are going right?

After identifying some of your common narratives (mine are all underlined....so, like, all of them) you will want to try to witness when these narratives pop up in your daily life. Then, offer yourself a new narrative in its place.

"This is my familiar [insert applicable narrative]."
"Just because I practiced these [thoughts, feelings, and behaviors] doesn't mean they are true."
"Underneath these [insert patterns] are deeper feelings of [i.e., insecurity, anger, fear, grief, longing, envy, etc.]."
"It is okay for me to feel [insert deeper feeling]."
"My [insert narrative and related patterns] no longer need to protect me from [insert deeper feeling]."

So, when you notice Mistrust patterns crop up, you can then re-route your thoughts to the following:

"This is my familiar Mistrust narrative. Just because I practiced thinking, feeling, and and acting as if I cannot trust others does not mean this is true. Underneath these patterns of protecting myself from distrustful others are deeper feelings of vulnerability and longing to connect. It is okay for me to feel vulnerable and desirous of connection. My mistrust narrative and related coping behaviors no longer need to protect me from feeling vulnerable and longing."

Finally, you can try using daily writing to keep small daily promises to yourself in order to trust and heal yourself.

Write at the beginning of the day:

"Today I will focus on shifting my pattern of allowing my narratives to run my day. My small daily promise to begin to shift that pattern notice my habitual narratives. I am grateful for having the opportunity to change my habitual responses and coping tools. When I notice my habitual narratives, I will experience more self awareness and the opportunity to change my responses and coping tools. I have an opportunity to practice being my future self today when I notice the patterns in my thoughts, feelings, and reactions throughout my day."

End of day:

"Today when I kept my small promise I felt an increase in self awareness. I noticed a moment of progress today when I noticed my old 'not good enough' story direct my actions. Today I learned I tend to think thoughts of 'not being good enough' at work and will use this knowledge to consciously remind myself these are older stories that are not necessarily true differently tomorrow."